• Christine Ward

5 Falsehoods I tell Myself and the Actual Factuals

The Real Deal Truths I Should be Saying Instead:


We all do it.


We all tell ourselves little white lies and big fat whoppers - most of us even lie to ourselves on the daily. My question is, why?


I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on introspection, here, and delude myself into thinking I have all the answers. I do believe, however, lying to yourself holds a specific purpose for each individual. Kind of like the means to an end, if that makes sense.


I’ve thought about this all day, and I can’t tell you what my end goal is when lying to myself - but I can pinpoint what it isn’t. In my case, the purpose of the falsehoods I tell myself most definitely isn’t self-preservation.


I can pinpoint the lies, too, and their corresponding cold hard truths. I really put some deep thought into using this little exercise as like, a method of self-improvement - but honestly, what’s to improve?


I’m just messing around about the statement above, sometimes I think I’ve got jokes! If you really know me, though, you know I’ve got a ton of work to do. Brace yourselves - it’s about to get real.

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So here go the five falsehoods I tell myself and the actual factuals I should be saying instead:


Falsehood # 1:


“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”


Okay, I’m a really blunt person and very verbal when it comes to expressing my thoughts - although I do try to be tactful. Sometimes the tact I think I possess doesn’t come through, and I’ve been known to be harsh.


My empathetic abilities can only stretch so far when it comes to something that I just can’t bring myself to abide while others watch meekly. So, when the truth comes out of my mouth, why do I immediately doubt my internal scale? (I'm a Libra.)


Actual Factual # 1:


“Hell yeah, I should have said it, someone needed to.”


There is no reason for self- doubt when I feel the need to stick up for myself or for someone else. So why do I do it?


The real truth is, I should be proud of the fact that I actually have a backbone when I need it (on occasion). I think maybe I question myself only because, as a society, we’ve been trained to fit into the mold; standing up and standing out isn’t that.


Falsehood # 2:


“I’m just going to finish this one chapter, then go to bed.”


Can someone please tell me I’m not alone here? When I’m really into a good book, and it’s getting late, I always tell myself the above. Laughable.


How do I get away with continually convincing myself that I’m really going to go to bed on time? I tell myself this lie way more than I care to admit, and this is one that literally never comes true.


Actual Factual # 2:


“Here goes, I know I’m going to be up until like 2 a.m.”


This is what I should really be telling myself when I decide to read in bed. It happens every single time. To be honest, I don’t even care.


What person in their right mind needs actual sleep when the main character, who is irresistibly male (imagination, okay?), finally makes his move and gets the blood pumping. Not me. Nope. I might as well just own up to it.


Falsehood # 3:


“I’m going to make this perfect.”


This is where it’s going to get deep. I have this constant need to strive for perfection. You’d think that trying to be great at everything is an outstanding trait. It’s not.


This little lie I tell myself only sets me up for disappointment and suffering. The thing is - when you always say this to yourself, and then don’t reach that unattainable mark, you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough.



Actual Factual # 3:


“If I try my best, it’ll turn out just fine.”


I’m good enough. That’s really what we all should be telling ourselves when taking on a project - or even in daily life.


When I look at things with this perspective, I can literally feel the weight of my impending failure lift up off my shoulders. Things start flowing. Not everything has to be perfect to be beautiful.


Falsehood # 4:


“I’m not going to let my emotions get the best of me.”


I’m an emotional person - nothing wrong with that, so why do I continuously want to hide my true feelings? This is the big fat whopper of a lie I was talking about at the beginning of this blog.


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Suppression of emotions can lead to all kinds of adverse mental and physical health effects; depression and anxiety, aggression, and even high blood pressure. My guess is that I think I have excellent reasons to hide from my feelings - but are those reasons worth the risks?


Actual Factual # 4:


“I know I’m about to lose my shit, and that’s okay.”


I’m a human being, and some of the emotions we humans experience are what make us unique. So, when I know I’m about to cry all the happy tears and ruin my perfectly good makeup, I’m going to tell myself the truth - it’s okay.


I’m also going to forgive myself when I throw a tantrum and make a mess of things. Emotions are raw, they’re real, and so am I. Why pretend I’m anything but?


Falsehood # 5:


“I’m going to try to make everyone happy.”


This one’s a killer. I know for a fact that this lie I tell myself is nearly impossible because everyone is different. Looking for approval from everybody is the surest route to losing yourself.


Hell, I don’t even like every single person I’ve ever met – so why try to delude myself into thinking I can be liked by everybody? I realize that this one probably leads back to falsehood # 3 and striving to be perfect.


Actual Factual # 5:


“I can’t make everyone happy, but I can be happy with myself.”


Of course, this is what I need to realize for myself. I’m not the kind of person to follow the herd, and that’s going to ruffle a few feathers. So freaking what?


I also know myself, and I’m passionate about my views and beliefs. I stand for things that I’m proud of, and not everyone agrees. Why do I even feel the need to make everyone my friend? It’s the human in me, I guess.


Are there lies you tell yourself even though you know they aren’t true? Can you imagine the things you should be telling yourself instead?


I guess what I’m getting at is that you can’t change who you really are - it’s better to start owning your life and being true to yourself. Stop lying to yourself because the only thing it causes is self-shame. What should you really be telling yourself?


I wrote a little motto on the chalkboard in my kitchen about a year ago. It reads:


“I accept myself exactly as I am.”


That’s the truth.


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